








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 800 | 23% |
| Smokes | 912 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 980 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 820 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,302 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaptiste | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | MAVER1CK-1 | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | ^clm. Take it easy | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | abchecken -.- | 59% | 54 |
| #5 | Vollkornsprudel | 58% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Vollkornsprudel | 58% | 66 |
| #6 | AandiiXX | 55% | 60 |
| #7 | Stepi | 54% | 39 |
| #8 | ExorE | 53% | 19 |
| #9 | Voggäääääääää | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AandiiXX | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Vollkornsprudel | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AandiiXX | 359 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | abchecken -.- | 169 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Vollkornsprudel | 42 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Voggäääääääää | 25 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | MAVER1CK-1 | 19 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AandiiXX | +1.46 | 66 | 82 |
| #2 | MAVER1CK-1 | +1.40 | 63 | 79 |
| #3 | abchecken -.- | +1.16 | 57 | 76 |
| #4 | ^clm. Take it easy | +1.14 | 64 | 69 |
| #5 | Vollkornsprudel | +1.09 | 54 | 65 |





