








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2223 | 35% |
| Smokes | 845 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2405 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 857 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $405,336 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mayple | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | jerry <3 | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | jerry | 53% | 78 |
| #4 | Wkhal | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Rat Priest | 51% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rat Priest | 51% | 134 |
| #6 | Emorter | 50% | 216 |
| #7 | politics | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | Talxos | 49% | 133 |
| #9 | C0rvus | 46% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emorter | 61 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | Talxos | 27 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | C0rvus | 23 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | jerry | 15 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | Rat Priest | 14 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emorter | 726 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | Talxos | 314 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | C0rvus | 227 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Rat Priest | 164 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | jerry | 87 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyden | +3.12 | 79 | 47 |
| #2 | Emorter | +1.01 | 56 | 54 |
| #3 | mayple | +0.86 | 64 | 61 |
| #4 | Rat Priest | +0.75 | 50 | 43 |
| #5 | jerry | +0.19 | 59 | 35 |





