








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




231 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8636 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4620 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7002 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3391 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,351,066 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3830 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jerry <3 | 69% | 49 |
| #2 | Kyden | 50% | 216 |
| #3 | Rat Priest | 48% | 357 |
| #4 | Pearl | 47% | 116 |
| #5 | jerry | 45% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Rat Priest | 48% | 357 |
| #4 | Pearl | 47% | 116 |
| #5 | jerry | 45% | 229 |
| #6 | Talxos | 44% | 350 |
| #7 | C0rvus | 41% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Talxos | 51 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | C0rvus | 36 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Pearl | 26 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | jerry | 25 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Rat Priest | 23 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Talxos | 810 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | Kyden | 551 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | Rat Priest | 476 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | C0rvus | 322 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | jerry | 206 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyden | +3.48 | 79 | 47 |
| #2 | jerry <3 | +1.51 | 54 | 37 |
| #3 | Rat Priest | +1.45 | 51 | 44 |
| #4 | Pearl | +1.26 | 53 | 16 |
| #5 | Emorter | +1.15 | 58 | 54 |





