








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1040 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7186 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3700 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3277 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6062 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2744 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,450,715 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1069 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyden | 51% | 134 |
| #2 | Emorter | 48% | 357 |
| #3 | Talxos | 48% | 185 |
| #4 | C0rvus | 45% | 141 |
| #5 | jerry | 41% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyden | 51% | 134 |
| #2 | Emorter | 48% | 357 |
| #3 | Talxos | 48% | 185 |
| #4 | C0rvus | 45% | 141 |
| #5 | jerry | 41% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emorter | 70 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Talxos | 34 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | C0rvus | 16 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | jerry | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Kyden | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emorter | 1221 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | Talxos | 453 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Kyden | 394 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | C0rvus | 185 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | jerry | 54 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyden | +2.68 | 77 | 47 |
| #2 | Rat Priest | +0.90 | 53 | 46 |
| #3 | Emorter | +0.77 | 58 | 56 |
| #4 | jerry | -0.97 | 56 | 36 |
| #5 | C0rvus | -3.50 | 36 | 36 |





