








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1134 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2041 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1212 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1130 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,204,999 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 709 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pearl | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | jerry <3 | 53% | 70 |
| #3 | Kyden | 53% | 78 |
| #4 | Emorter | 45% | 229 |
| #5 | C0rvus | 42% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kyden | 53% | 78 |
| #4 | Emorter | 45% | 229 |
| #5 | C0rvus | 42% | 106 |
| #6 | Rat Priest | 41% | 73 |
| #7 | Talxos | 40% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emorter | 64 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | Talxos | 20 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | C0rvus | 15 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Kyden | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | jerry <3 | 5 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emorter | 754 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | Talxos | 292 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kyden | 163 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | C0rvus | 132 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rat Priest | 94 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyden | +3.25 | 80 | 47 |
| #2 | Pearl | +1.19 | 58 | 17 |
| #3 | jerry | +1.16 | 64 | 37 |
| #4 | Rat Priest | +1.12 | 54 | 47 |
| #5 | Emorter | +0.80 | 57 | 55 |





