








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1152 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1586 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1596 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1295 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $816,698 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dean | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | IamAdegenerate | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Jaro | 56% | 93 |
| #4 | Skillerone | 56% | 86 |
| #5 | MillieWillyGamer | 52% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | LuckyLuke | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | Jecky | 46% | 78 |
| #8 | BOT Gizmoo | 43% | 56 |
| #9 | Pergamon | 40% | 42 |
| #10 | Artaxion | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jecky | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | MillieWillyGamer | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Jaro | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | BOT Gizmoo | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Pergamon | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaro | 283 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jecky | 240 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | MillieWillyGamer | 198 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Skillerone | 160 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | BOT Gizmoo | 141 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaro | +2.93 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | Jecky | +2.46 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | Manosaki | +0.83 | 83 | 56 |
| #4 | Skillerone | +0.69 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | BOT Gizmoo | -0.53 | 64 | 51 |





