








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 887 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1148 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1076 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 938 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $357,891 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IamAdegenerate | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Dean | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Ubbe | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Jaro | 57% | 67 |
| #5 | Manosaki | 56% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jecky | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Ubbe | 3 | 0.0261 |
| #3 | Jaro | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Manosaki | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | BOT Gizmoo | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaro | 188 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jecky | 185 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | BOT Gizmoo | 109 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Manosaki | 104 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | MillieWillyGamer | 93 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jecky | +3.01 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | Jaro | +1.82 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | Skillerone | +1.11 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | Manosaki | +0.30 | 83 | 55 |
| #5 | BOT Gizmoo | -0.15 | 66 | 51 |





