








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3115 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1355 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2647 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3399 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2386 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $521,127 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Twice | 53% | 43 |
| #9 | ⭕⃤ ᠌ Maximus Prime | 53% | 30 |
| #10 | Badmeester Joris | 41% | 51 |
| #11 | Niffo | 38% | 34 |
| #12 | ✪ Wigo | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoMo | 16 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Embrace | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Badmeester Joris | 7 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | EetMeSok | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | silver aim stefan | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoMo | 477 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | Embrace | 216 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | EetMeSok | 136 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Niffo | 91 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | silver aim stefan | 88 | 0.21 | 2 min |





