








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 709 | 29% |
| Smokes | 304 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 812 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 580 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $329,582 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FabioCCC | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | smiley | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ ᠌ Maximus Prime | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | PoMo | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | Embrace | 46% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Embrace | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | PoMo | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | r0ggeL- | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Badmeester Joris | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | VERA | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Embrace | 245 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | PoMo | 205 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Badmeester Joris | 128 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | VERA | 65 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | silver aim stefan | 46 | 0.21 | 1 min |





