








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1621 | 40% |
| Smokes | 959 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 933 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 497 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $417,690 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Credi | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Feathers McGraw | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | Huppelihiiri | 56% | 112 |
| #4 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Huppelihiiri | 56% | 112 |
| #4 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | 40% | 48 |
| #6 | ♥ Big Smoke ♥ | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | [Minimani Ac] Vhopper | 23% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | 16 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | Feathers McGraw | 13 | 0.0167 |
| #3 | Huppelihiiri | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | 9 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | [Minimani Ac] Vhopper | 6 | 0.0136 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | 298 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #2 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | 109 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Huppelihiiri | 107 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | [Minimani Ac] Vhopper | 75 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Credi | 64 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Credi | +4.72 | 73 | 72 |
| #2 | Huppelihiiri | +2.93 | 75 | 49 |
| #3 | Markku | +2.78 | 73 | 50 |
| #4 | Feathers McGraw | +2.42 | 86 | 21 |
| #5 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | -3.04 | 28 | 51 |





