








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1766 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1039 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1721 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 745 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $731,924 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 654 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Euter | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | ThePointlessDude | 43% | 21 |
| #3 | Lujimotive | 40% | 159 |
| #4 | Jean Claude Vac Ban | 37% | 38 |
| #5 | L4zyhaver | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ThePointlessDude | 43% | 21 |
| #3 | Lujimotive | 40% | 159 |
| #4 | Jean Claude Vac Ban | 37% | 38 |
| #5 | L4zyhaver | 33% | 30 |
| #6 | Alish Al-Wadil | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lujimotive | 105 | 0.0338 |
| #2 | Jean Claude Vac Ban | 10 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | Alish Al-Wadil | 6 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | ThePointlessDude | 4 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Mr.Euter | 2 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lujimotive | 250 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jean Claude Vac Ban | 170 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | Alish Al-Wadil | 81 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mr.Euter | 72 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | ThePointlessDude | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Euter | +4.80 | 79 | 79 |
| #2 | The Mo | +3.48 | 60 | 67 |
| #3 | Jean Claude Vac Ban | +3.43 | 75 | 78 |
| #4 | L4zyhaver | -0.94 | 54 | 46 |
| #5 | Lujimotive | -2.29 | 33 | 69 |





