








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 416 | 23% |
| Smokes | 410 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 514 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 434 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $117,851 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jean Claude Vac Ban | 35% | 51 |
| #7 | Lujimotive | 35% | 49 |
| #8 | The Mo | 31% | 32 |
| #9 | Thetawave | 25% | 4 |
| #10 | ThePointlessDude | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lujimotive | 35 | 0.0359 |
| #2 | The Mo | 17 | 0.0286 |
| #3 | Jean Claude Vac Ban | 15 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | PorkRageChef | 4 | 0.0181 |
| #5 | ThePointlessDude | 2 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jean Claude Vac Ban | 262 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | Lujimotive | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | The Mo | 63 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mr.Euter | 39 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | PorkRageChef | 34 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jean Claude Vac Ban | +4.44 | 72 | 76 |
| #2 | VentusS | +3.39 | 82 | 73 |
| #3 | Mr.Euter | +2.72 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | The Mo | +2.62 | 59 | 71 |
| #5 | PorkRageChef | +1.59 | 67 | 74 |





