








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1356 | 35% |
| Smokes | 800 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1221 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 499 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,394 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PorkRageChef | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | FAT DUMB BOI | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | L4zyhaver | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | ThePointlessDude | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Lujimotive | 41% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ThePointlessDude | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Lujimotive | 41% | 69 |
| #6 | The Mo | 37% | 38 |
| #7 | Alish Al-Wadil | 35% | 51 |
| #8 | Thetawave | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lujimotive | 38 | 0.0282 |
| #2 | The Mo | 17 | 0.0238 |
| #3 | Alish Al-Wadil | 13 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | ThePointlessDude | 6 | 0.0205 |
| #5 | PorkRageChef | 3 | 0.0153 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alish Al-Wadil | 133 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lujimotive | 99 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | The Mo | 75 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | FAT DUMB BOI | 29 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | PorkRageChef | 26 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jean Claude Vac Ban | +4.18 | 75 | 79 |
| #2 | PorkRageChef | +2.82 | 74 | 76 |
| #3 | The Mo | +2.49 | 61 | 70 |
| #4 | Thetawave | +1.25 | 36 | 72 |
| #5 | FAT DUMB BOI | -0.29 | 9 | 76 |





