








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,230 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1678 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1720 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1210 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1622 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,556 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shimmy peek | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Snek | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | patty | 47% | 81 |
| #4 | eGirlSlayer666 | 46% | 117 |
| #5 | Hugh G Rection | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | eGirlSlayer666 | 46% | 117 |
| #5 | Hugh G Rection | 45% | 42 |
| #6 | underidoderidoderiododeriodoo | 44% | 75 |
| #7 | louie | 39% | 18 |
| #8 | blizzy | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eGirlSlayer666 | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | underidoderidoderiododeriodoo | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | blizzy | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | shimmy peek | 4 | 0.0241 |
| #5 | Hugh G Rection | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eGirlSlayer666 | 272 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | patty | 161 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hugh G Rection | 153 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Snek | 69 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | underidoderidoderiododeriodoo | 35 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shimmy peek | +3.35 | 92 | 46 |
| #2 | Hugh G Rection | +1.48 | 85 | 57 |
| #3 | eGirlSlayer666 | +1.30 | 77 | 58 |
| #4 | louie | +0.75 | 76 | 47 |
| #5 | underidoderidoderiododeriodoo | +0.61 | 89 | 23 |





