








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 755 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1257 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 803 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1061 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $779,128 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elixir | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | Dwcollier | 72% | 29 |
| #3 | TamTam | 68% | 38 |
| #4 | THE HAT MAN | 64% | 50 |
| #5 | peath | 64% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TamTam | 156 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | THE HAT MAN | 153 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Dwcollier | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪Fala -ThePigeon- | 57 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | peath | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dwcollier | +3.94 | 87 | 58 |
| #2 | peath | +1.71 | 87 | 47 |
| #3 | Elixir | +1.30 | 80 | 58 |
| #4 | Berda | +0.79 | 81 | 40 |
| #5 | TamTam | +0.17 | 70 | 63 |





