








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Wingman | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7097 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2790 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2302 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2777 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2719 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,274,650 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1849 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elixir | 55% | 220 |
| #2 | roller | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | triXtr | 47% | 148 |
| #4 | Orbitalsniper | 42% | 384 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elixir | 55% | 220 |
| #2 | roller | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | triXtr | 47% | 148 |
| #4 | Orbitalsniper | 42% | 384 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elixir | 19 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | triXtr | 19 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Orbitalsniper | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | roller | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | triXtr | 426 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Elixir | 411 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | Orbitalsniper | 129 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #4 | roller | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breathy | +2.45 | 71 | 37 |
| #2 | Elixir | +2.12 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | roller | +0.63 | 63 | 47 |
| #4 | triXtr | -1.64 | 46 | 54 |
| #5 | Orbitalsniper | -4.28 | 38 | 37 |





