








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1962 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3797 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2114 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2117 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,880,939 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Santo Bahpau | 51% | 189 |
| #2 | Toblerone | 51% | 59 |
| #3 | 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢⚶ | 51% | 298 |
| #4 | tead | 50% | 111 |
| #5 | gorf | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢⚶ | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Santo Bahpau | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | tead | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Apple Butta Smeared Bong | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | gorf | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢⚶ | 650 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | tead | 313 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Santo Bahpau | 267 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | CrzySci101 | 241 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Apple Butta Smeared Bong | 231 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tead | +2.60 | 71 | 74 |
| #2 | 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢⚶ | +2.11 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | gorf | +2.06 | 61 | 73 |
| #4 | Santo Bahpau | +0.98 | 61 | 51 |
| #5 | CrzySci101 | +0.05 | 45 | 69 |





