








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3450 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5712 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1174 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 4961 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $727,164 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Birdo | 51% | 298 |
| #2 | gorf | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | tead | 50% | 133 |
| #4 | Santo Bahpau | 49% | 158 |
| #5 | CrzySci101 | 48% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Santo Bahpau | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Apple Butta Smeared Bong | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | tead | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Birdo | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | CrzySci101 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tead | 383 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Apple Butta Smeared Bong | 287 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | CrzySci101 | 261 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Santo Bahpau | 237 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Birdo | 137 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tead | +2.06 | 72 | 75 |
| #2 | 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢⚶ | +1.60 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | gorf | +1.50 | 61 | 75 |
| #4 | Santo Bahpau | +0.60 | 61 | 52 |
| #5 | CrzySci101 | -0.10 | 42 | 72 |





