








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4051 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4137 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3381 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2907 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $941,470 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ Johndotcom | 56% | 86 |
| #2 | Birdo | 50% | 111 |
| #3 | 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢⚶ | 50% | 133 |
| #4 | Apple Butta Smeared Bong | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | Santo Bahpau | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Birdo | 50% | 111 |
| #3 | 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢⚶ | 50% | 133 |
| #4 | Apple Butta Smeared Bong | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | Santo Bahpau | 46% | 50 |
| #6 | CrzySci101 | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ Johndotcom | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Santo Bahpau | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢⚶ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Apple Butta Smeared Bong | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ Johndotcom | 382 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢⚶ | 240 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | CrzySci101 | 111 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Apple Butta Smeared Bong | 55 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Santo Bahpau | 54 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢⚶ | +1.63 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | ♛ Johndotcom | +1.25 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | tead | +0.83 | 67 | 73 |
| #4 | Santo Bahpau | -0.21 | 58 | 50 |
| #5 | CrzySci101 | -0.56 | 38 | 67 |





