








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 299 | 22% |
| Smokes | 170 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 532 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 365 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $117,795 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apple Butta Smeared Bong | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Santo Bahpau | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Birdo | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢⚶ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ItalianMafia | 1 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢⚶ | 107 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Apple Butta Smeared Bong | 56 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Santo Bahpau | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | CrzySci101 | 45 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | tead | 39 | 0.14 | 1 min |





