








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 112 | 9% |
| Smokes | 542 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 387 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 229 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,357 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Braindead Jo Ice | 44% | 140 |
| #4 | Rizz and jizz god torjus | 43% | 91 |
| #5 | UngDryppGuttBror | 43% | 54 |
| #6 | IndeXX | 42% | 119 |
| #7 | - | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizz and jizz god torjus | 41 | 0.0227 |
| #2 | IndeXX | 19 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | UngDryppGuttBror | 12 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | - | 12 | 0.0159 |
| #5 | Braindead Jo Ice | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizz and jizz god torjus | 584 | 0.32 | 12 min |
| #2 | Braindead Jo Ice | 280 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Knag | 276 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | IndeXX | 235 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | - | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizz and jizz god torjus | +1.85 | 61 | 69 |
| #2 | Braindead Jo Ice | +1.68 | 58 | 60 |
| #3 | UngDryppGuttBror | +0.92 | 71 | 34 |
| #4 | Knag | +0.81 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | - | -0.97 | 68 | 32 |





