








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1431 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3527 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1095 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1483 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1906 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $92,326 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knag | 48% | 87 |
| #2 | Braindead Jo Ice | 45% | 144 |
| #3 | IndeXX | 43% | 122 |
| #4 | ☭ludnig | 43% | 91 |
| #5 | UngDryppGuttBror | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Braindead Jo Ice | 45% | 144 |
| #3 | IndeXX | 43% | 122 |
| #4 | ☭ludnig | 43% | 91 |
| #5 | UngDryppGuttBror | 38% | 48 |
| #6 | - | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭ludnig | 17 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | - | 14 | 0.0193 |
| #3 | IndeXX | 13 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Braindead Jo Ice | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | UngDryppGuttBror | 7 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Braindead Jo Ice | 296 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | IndeXX | 269 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Knag | 252 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | - | 62 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | ☭ludnig | 18 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Braindead Jo Ice | +1.62 | 66 | 61 |
| #2 | Knag | +0.31 | 75 | 56 |
| #3 | UngDryppGuttBror | +0.22 | 71 | 38 |
| #4 | Rizz and jizz god torjus | +0.21 | 53 | 63 |
| #5 | - | -1.75 | 67 | 40 |





