








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 585 matches | ||
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7356 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6472 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4646 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6886 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,274,555 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edmund | 61% | 41 |
| #2 | Evn^S | 57% | 298 |
| #3 | MartinKatt202 | 55% | 89 |
| #4 | ChrisMekker | 53% | 388 |
| #5 | promp | 52% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Braindead Jo Ice | 51% | 168 |
| #7 | Rizz and jizz god torjus | 48% | 87 |
| #8 | ☭ludnig | 46% | 113 |
| #9 | IndeXX | 46% | 116 |
| #10 | - | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrisMekker | 25 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Rizz and jizz god torjus | 25 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | Evn^S | 15 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ☭ludnig | 15 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | IndeXX | 12 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrisMekker | 2027 | 0.25 | 53 min |
| #2 | Rizz and jizz god torjus | 567 | 0.32 | 13 min |
| #3 | Evn^S | 393 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #4 | Braindead Jo Ice | 274 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | promp | 236 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edmund | +3.35 | 73 | 50 |
| #2 | Braindead Jo Ice | +1.68 | 66 | 59 |
| #3 | ChrisMekker | +1.27 | 63 | 74 |
| #4 | Rizz and jizz god torjus | +1.21 | 58 | 71 |
| #5 | promp | +1.19 | 63 | 61 |





