








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 294 | 24% |
| Smokes | 244 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 396 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 290 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $73,965 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pelta ☂ | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | hanii | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | Pat | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | OddBob | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | F-A-F | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | OddBob | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | F-A-F | 44% | 9 |
| #6 | F_A_F | 44% | 25 |
| #7 | alex | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | wickyy | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alex | 15 | 0.0532 |
| #2 | hanii | 6 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Pat | 6 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | wickyy | 4 | 0.0150 |
| #5 | OddBob | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pat | 106 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | OddBob | 105 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | alex | 80 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #4 | hanii | 55 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | wickyy | 46 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alex | +3.30 | 60 | 72 |
| #2 | Pat | +2.31 | 66 | 74 |
| #3 | OddBob | +1.57 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | CxxJ | +0.34 | 72 | 55 |
| #5 | hanii | -1.18 | 44 | 68 |





