








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 845 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 291 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5357 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4999 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5270 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4146 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5140 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,103,138 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CxxJ | 50% | 26 |
| #8 | F_A_F | 50% | 30 |
| #9 | hanii | 50% | 398 |
| #10 | perki | 49% | 192 |
| #11 | OddBob | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hanii | 1024 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #2 | Etna | 844 | 0.21 | 25 min |
| #3 | perki | 535 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | oaksie | 417 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | OddBob | 147 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dzimi Hendrik | +2.52 | 69 | 77 |
| #2 | Etna | +2.06 | 72 | 82 |
| #3 | Pat | +1.79 | 68 | 69 |
| #4 | OddBob | +1.73 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | ᴵ ᴬᴹ Θxy | +1.23 | 75 | 55 |





