








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 275 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4334 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4980 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4410 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4645 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,391,846 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Etna | 49% | 168 |
| #8 | perki | 49% | 178 |
| #9 | Kris | 49% | 39 |
| #10 | OddBob | 46% | 41 |
| #11 | GRILL | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pat | 1536 | 0.17 | 39 min |
| #2 | Etna | 811 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #3 | perki | 490 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | oaksie | 413 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | Kris | 170 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Etna | +2.16 | 72 | 82 |
| #2 | Pat | +1.80 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | OddBob | +1.69 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | ᴵ ᴬᴹ Θxy | +1.39 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | CxxJ | +0.64 | 67 | 57 |





