








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 422 | 38% |
| Smokes | 270 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 291 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 138 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $71,371 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay7 | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | F-A-F | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | F_A_F | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | Pat | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | hanii | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Pat | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | hanii | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | OddBob | 36% | 28 |
| #7 | CxxJ | 31% | 13 |
| #8 | alex | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alex | 20 | 0.0445 |
| #2 | hanii | 8 | 0.0250 |
| #3 | CxxJ | 7 | 0.0263 |
| #4 | OddBob | 6 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | Pat | 6 | 0.0161 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alex | 110 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | OddBob | 81 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Pat | 68 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | hanii | 45 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | CxxJ | 41 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pat | +2.25 | 69 | 62 |
| #2 | alex | +2.14 | 70 | 67 |
| #3 | Jay7 | +1.72 | 66 | 43 |
| #4 | OddBob | +0.90 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | F-A-F | -0.50 | 31 | 62 |





