








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2601 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3569 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2133 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3025 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,619 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snav | 75% | 32 |
| #2 | CptFlicky | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | ✪ Yøink -iwnl- | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | Tech | 59% | 37 |
| #5 | hvnlypeach | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snav | +4.31 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | Tech | +2.33 | 84 | 72 |
| #3 | seemitch | +1.88 | 85 | 51 |
| #4 | CptFlicky | +1.81 | 76 | 56 |
| #5 | meh-deen | +1.57 | 75 | 53 |





