








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 553 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7271 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6889 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1487 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 6514 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,235,800 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 364 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandu | 51% | 61 |
| #2 | dabbertons | 50% | 124 |
| #3 | oIAMoKYESo | 50% | 105 |
| #4 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | 49% | 166 |
| #5 | secret gay fuck spot | 48% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dabbertons | 50% | 124 |
| #3 | oIAMoKYESo | 50% | 105 |
| #4 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | 49% | 166 |
| #5 | secret gay fuck spot | 48% | 106 |
| #6 | Vanilla Coke | 44% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vanilla Coke | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | secret gay fuck spot | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | oIAMoKYESo | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | dabbertons | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vanilla Coke | 692 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #2 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | 660 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | dabbertons | 595 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #4 | secret gay fuck spot | 411 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | mandu | 278 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandu | +4.24 | 89 | 69 |
| #2 | Vanilla Coke | +1.94 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | Named_fr4n | +0.35 | 63 | 58 |
| #4 | oIAMoKYESo | +0.30 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | +0.24 | 62 | 74 |





