








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 359 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9064 | 39% |
| Smokes | 5505 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5093 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3617 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,391,701 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1426 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | oIAMoKYESo | 47% | 282 |
| #7 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | 46% | 465 |
| #8 | dabbertons | 45% | 268 |
| #9 | Mothers Milk | 40% | 47 |
| #10 | Shmole | 33% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vanilla Coke | 28 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | mandu | 17 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | 13 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | oIAMoKYESo | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | dabbertons | 9 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | 1632 | 0.17 | 42 min |
| #2 | Vanilla Coke | 1535 | 0.22 | 36 min |
| #3 | dabbertons | 1258 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #4 | oIAMoKYESo | 580 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #5 | mandu | 474 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandu | +5.62 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | Vanilla Coke | +2.49 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | Named_fr4n | +0.58 | 64 | 57 |
| #4 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | +0.45 | 63 | 71 |
| #5 | Mothers Milk | -0.30 | 69 | 49 |





