








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 681 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 65,877 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16657 | 25% |
| Smokes | 17537 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 16764 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 14919 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,823,641 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1757 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandu | 54% | 245 |
| #2 | Vanilla Coke | 51% | 535 |
| #3 | Aydum | 50% | 248 |
| #4 | oIAMoKYESo | 49% | 470 |
| #5 | dabbertons | 49% | 401 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vanilla Coke | 40 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | mandu | 33 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | secret gay fuck spot | 32 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | oIAMoKYESo | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Aydum | 13 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vanilla Coke | 2507 | 0.23 | 58 min |
| #2 | secret gay fuck spot | 1812 | 0.19 | 40 min |
| #3 | dabbertons | 1785 | 0.22 | 37 min |
| #4 | mandu | 1144 | 0.23 | 33 min |
| #5 | oIAMoKYESo | 1020 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandu | +5.52 | 89 | 72 |
| #2 | Vanilla Coke | +1.87 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | +0.53 | 66 | 71 |
| #4 | Named_fr4n | -0.04 | 64 | 55 |
| #5 | oIAMoKYESo | -0.62 | 58 | 54 |





