








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 700 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 497 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12287 | 29% |
| Smokes | 14468 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5626 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 9647 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,349,311 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | secret gay fuck spot | 49% | 345 |
| #7 | dabbertons | 49% | 241 |
| #8 | Mothers Milk | 48% | 61 |
| #9 | Named_fr4n | 44% | 156 |
| #10 | Shmole | 42% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | secret gay fuck spot | 22 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | mandu | 21 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | 17 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | oIAMoKYESo | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | dabbertons | 7 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | 1852 | 0.17 | 46 min |
| #2 | secret gay fuck spot | 1289 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #3 | dabbertons | 1130 | 0.23 | 24 min |
| #4 | mandu | 741 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #5 | oIAMoKYESo | 558 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandu | +4.58 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | Vanilla Coke | +1.81 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | +0.36 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | Named_fr4n | +0.01 | 63 | 56 |
| #5 | Mothers Milk | -0.62 | 70 | 51 |





