








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1478 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1371 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1228 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 704 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $511,907 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 303 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MA | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Pookie | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | BlackShawns | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Méthyléne | 46% | 48 |
| #5 | Apane | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Pookie | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | BlackShawns | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Méthyléne | 46% | 48 |
| #5 | Apane | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | Crazyfefe | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MA | 4 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | Crazyfefe | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Méthyléne | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Méthyléne | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | BlackShawns | 49 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Apane | 36 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | MA | 32 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pookie | 30 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MA | +3.52 | 78 | 44 |
| #2 | Saulc G2 | +1.77 | 48 | 70 |
| #3 | Pookie | +0.84 | 63 | 62 |
| #4 | BlackShawns | -0.35 | 45 | 58 |
| #5 | Méthyléne | -2.47 | 39 | 58 |





