








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 632 | 23% |
| Smokes | 683 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 954 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 421 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $737,335 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☺BadPlayers☺ | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | UberSaulc | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Carkill | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Saulc weeb | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | pedro | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pedro | 7 | 0.0247 |
| #2 | Desert | 6 | 0.0375 |
| #3 | BlackShawns | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Crazyfefe | 4 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | Saulc weeb | 3 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saulc weeb | 103 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | BlackShawns | 98 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | SUP Rats | 83 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | Castle Crashers King | 80 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Saulc G2 | 76 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saulc weeb | +4.20 | 46 | 72 |
| #2 | UberSaulc | +3.62 | 56 | 70 |
| #3 | Saulc G2 | +2.45 | 50 | 71 |
| #4 | SUP Rats | +2.30 | 44 | 57 |
| #5 | Carkill | +2.19 | 22 | 72 |





