








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 282 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3776 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3427 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2170 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2755 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $831,727 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ keanuS- | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | mo0n | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | dat_örnie | 69% | 29 |
| #4 | Luis | 69% | 54 |
| #5 | Fabian | 68% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QueVaL | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Luis | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | dat_örnie | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ✪ keanuS- | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Fabian | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5ch0lli | 312 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | Luis | 296 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | Brett.io | 184 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mor1s | 171 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | IronTony | 147 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luis | +1.91 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | Sir Gilbert | +1.87 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | Mor1s | +1.48 | 90 | 69 |
| #4 | ✪ keanuS- | +1.14 | 86 | 52 |
| #5 | Fabian | +0.91 | 82 | 57 |





