








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3279 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3321 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2919 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4525 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $935,905 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | telex | 59% | 116 |
| #2 | Unholy | 58% | 165 |
| #3 | TJay | 56% | 189 |
| #4 | Meeve | 55% | 77 |
| #5 | 1k fps | 53% | 326 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TJay | 56% | 189 |
| #4 | Meeve | 55% | 77 |
| #5 | 1k fps | 53% | 326 |
| #6 | Smile☺ | 52% | 50 |
| #7 | 🌸 | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1k fps | 39 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | telex | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Meeve | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | TJay | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | 🌸 | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TJay | 834 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #2 | 1k fps | 381 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | telex | 293 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Meeve | 166 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Unholy | 129 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | telex | +3.74 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | PepsiHolic | +1.95 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | 1k fps | +0.27 | 59 | 41 |
| #4 | Meeve | -0.43 | 64 | 41 |
| #5 | TJay | -0.49 | 55 | 80 |





