








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 907 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 632 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11632 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10495 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 13635 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 9501 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,413,057 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 645 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | telex | 61% | 44 |
| #2 | Viz | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | PepsiHolic | 56% | 189 |
| #4 | 1k fps | 52% | 516 |
| #5 | Unholy | 50% | 373 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PepsiHolic | 56% | 189 |
| #4 | 1k fps | 52% | 516 |
| #5 | Unholy | 50% | 373 |
| #6 | Smile☺ | 46% | 50 |
| #7 | 🌸 | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1k fps | 41 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | PepsiHolic | 19 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | telex | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Unholy | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Viz | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1k fps | 561 | 0.05 | 16 min |
| #2 | PepsiHolic | 434 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Unholy | 312 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #4 | Viz | 189 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | telex | 142 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | telex | +3.65 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | PepsiHolic | +2.77 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | 🌸 | +1.10 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | 1k fps | +1.01 | 61 | 41 |
| #5 | TJay | +0.13 | 55 | 80 |





