








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 658 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4903 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1549 | 8% |
| Smokes | 5875 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3900 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7905 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,278,750 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | telex | 63% | 40 |
| #2 | PepsiHolic | 58% | 165 |
| #3 | Hello | 51% | 71 |
| #4 | 1k fps | 50% | 550 |
| #5 | Viz | 50% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | PepsiHolic | 58% | 165 |
| #3 | Hello | 51% | 71 |
| #4 | 1k fps | 50% | 550 |
| #5 | Viz | 50% | 38 |
| #6 | TJay | 50% | 373 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1k fps | 50 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | TJay | 19 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | PepsiHolic | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | telex | 6 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TJay | 1755 | 0.22 | 47 min |
| #2 | 1k fps | 602 | 0.05 | 17 min |
| #3 | PepsiHolic | 371 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Hello | 153 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | telex | 134 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | telex | +3.92 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | PepsiHolic | +2.62 | 80 | 58 |
| #3 | 1k fps | +1.55 | 63 | 40 |
| #4 | Viz | +0.61 | 61 | 50 |
| #5 | TJay | +0.09 | 51 | 81 |





