








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 752 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 176 matches | ||
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3647 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2688 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2929 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3172 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,989,993 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rivermender | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | air_switch | 65% | 46 |
| #3 | PepsiHolic | 55% | 77 |
| #4 | 1k fps | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | telex | 54% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rivermender | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | air_switch | 65% | 46 |
| #3 | PepsiHolic | 55% | 77 |
| #4 | 1k fps | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | telex | 54% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | telex | 45 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | PepsiHolic | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Rivermender | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | 1k fps | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | air_switch | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | telex | 475 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #2 | air_switch | 259 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #3 | PepsiHolic | 159 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rivermender | 51 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | 1k fps | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | telex | +3.65 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | PepsiHolic | +2.25 | 82 | 46 |
| #3 | air_switch | +1.20 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | Rivermender | +0.68 | 50 | 41 |
| #5 | 1k fps | +0.44 | 58 | 36 |





