








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1435 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 920 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




98 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3153 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4321 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4965 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4598 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,945,538 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 422 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viz | 60% | 92 |
| #2 | telex | 58% | 117 |
| #3 | PepsiHolic | 53% | 326 |
| #4 | TJay | 52% | 516 |
| #5 | 🌸 | 51% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PepsiHolic | 53% | 326 |
| #4 | TJay | 52% | 516 |
| #5 | 🌸 | 51% | 114 |
| #6 | Unholy | 50% | 550 |
| #7 | Smile☺ | 46% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PepsiHolic | 26 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | TJay | 24 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | telex | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Unholy | 8 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | 🌸 | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TJay | 2364 | 0.21 | 63 min |
| #2 | PepsiHolic | 690 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | Unholy | 451 | 0.04 | 13 min |
| #4 | 🌸 | 359 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | telex | 304 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | telex | +3.13 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | PepsiHolic | +2.02 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | 1k fps | +0.67 | 63 | 40 |
| #4 | 🌸 | +0.41 | 69 | 58 |
| #5 | TJay | -0.19 | 53 | 80 |





