








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 307 matches | ||
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 2,032 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3312 | 13% |
| Smokes | 8410 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 7449 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6755 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,120,688 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oxide | 59% | 123 |
| #2 | hermit crab | 57% | 61 |
| #3 | MANOLO | 57% | 60 |
| #4 | bobNd | 55% | 405 |
| #5 | stone | 55% | 301 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobNd | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | ~HyeRin~ | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | ?82Mäky | 7 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Temeee | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | stone | 5 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobNd | 1510 | 0.17 | 45 min |
| #2 | stone | 897 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #3 | ?82Mäky | 749 | 0.07 | 19 min |
| #4 | oxide | 731 | 0.28 | 21 min |
| #5 | niso | 420 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stone | +2.61 | 87 | 76 |
| #2 | MMissu | +1.95 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | bobNd | +1.70 | 84 | 73 |
| #4 | oxide | +0.78 | 47 | 81 |
| #5 | ~HyeRin~ | +0.67 | 65 | 53 |





