








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1580 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 370 matches | ||
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,996 | |
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 172 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9790 | 28% |
| Smokes | 10078 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7967 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7597 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,919,243 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1059 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hermit crab | 59% | 46 |
| #2 | 3rawler | 56% | 85 |
| #3 | MMissu | 55% | 405 |
| #4 | stone | 54% | 441 |
| #5 | oxide | 51% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SOS | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | anastaja | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | stone | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | MMissu | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | niso | 5 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stone | 1340 | 0.14 | 37 min |
| #2 | oxide | 806 | 0.26 | 24 min |
| #3 | niso | 790 | 0.09 | 21 min |
| #4 | ?82Mäky | 705 | 0.07 | 17 min |
| #5 | anastaja | 638 | 0.22 | 17 min |





