








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 698 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 343 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,210 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5709 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5333 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4267 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4901 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,147,445 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kermajuusto | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | Xix | 57% | 46 |
| #3 | oxide | 56% | 112 |
| #4 | MMissu | 55% | 301 |
| #5 | MANOLO | 55% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MANOLO | 55% | 104 |
| #6 | bobNd | 54% | 441 |
| #7 | ?82Mäky | 51% | 357 |
| #8 | niso | 50% | 236 |
| #9 | anastaja | 48% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobNd | 7 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | ?82Mäky | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | MMissu | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | niso | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | MANOLO | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobNd | 1637 | 0.17 | 49 min |
| #2 | oxide | 579 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #3 | ?82Mäky | 478 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #4 | niso | 374 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | anastaja | 349 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stone | +2.47 | 86 | 76 |
| #2 | Kermajuusto | +2.01 | 69 | 47 |
| #3 | bobNd | +1.29 | 82 | 73 |
| #4 | MMissu | +0.66 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | oxide | -0.13 | 44 | 80 |





