








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5477 | 45% |
| Smokes | 2077 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2060 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2678 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $762,506 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nocturne | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | DTruxy | 64% | 160 |
| #3 | 1mer | 64% | 209 |
| #4 | = skullz | 61% | 67 |
| #5 | BanFlash | 60% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 1mer | 64% | 209 |
| #4 | = skullz | 61% | 67 |
| #5 | BanFlash | 60% | 48 |
| #6 | EGGZAMA | 55% | 20 |
| #7 | Swan | 55% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swan | 18 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | 1mer | 16 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | = skullz | 12 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | DTruxy | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | BanFlash | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DTruxy | 1002 | 0.32 | 23 min |
| #2 | 1mer | 998 | 0.24 | 29 min |
| #3 | Swan | 591 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #4 | = skullz | 164 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | BanFlash | 97 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NTS | +3.43 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | DTruxy | +2.47 | 90 | 70 |
| #3 | 1mer | +1.78 | 90 | 71 |
| #4 | = skullz | +1.76 | 75 | 49 |
| #5 | Nocturne | +0.96 | 76 | 44 |





