








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1989 | 51% |
| Smokes | 741 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 718 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 439 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,880 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nocturne | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | 1mer | 61% | 75 |
| #3 | BanFlash | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | DTruxy | 57% | 70 |
| #5 | NTS | 55% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 1mer | 61% | 75 |
| #3 | BanFlash | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | DTruxy | 57% | 70 |
| #5 | NTS | 55% | 124 |
| #6 | = skullz | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NTS | 23 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | = skullz | 6 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | 1mer | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | DTruxy | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | BanFlash | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NTS | 601 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #2 | DTruxy | 450 | 0.32 | 12 min |
| #3 | 1mer | 398 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #4 | = skullz | 51 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | BanFlash | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NTS | +3.54 | 89 | 69 |
| #2 | DTruxy | +1.90 | 89 | 73 |
| #3 | 1mer | +1.68 | 92 | 66 |
| #4 | = skullz | +1.01 | 70 | 49 |
| #5 | Nocturne | -0.27 | 79 | 45 |





