








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 753 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 442 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Wingman | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11851 | 36% |
| Smokes | 8185 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6819 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5873 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,297,257 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Michael | 51% | 230 |
| #5 | ForceReload | 51% | 323 |
| #6 | Taddy ♥ | 50% | 185 |
| #7 | Cuja | 45% | 40 |
| #8 | Azog | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForceReload | 21 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Tobi | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Michael | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Taddy ♥ | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | noaki | 7 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobi | 1564 | 0.18 | 32 min |
| #2 | noaki | 1462 | 0.16 | 38 min |
| #3 | Michael | 593 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #4 | ForceReload | 495 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | Taddy ♥ | 495 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The notorious "sk1ppz" A.W.P | +1.27 | 73 | 74 |
| #2 | Tobi | +1.16 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | Michael | +0.29 | 78 | 71 |
| #4 | noaki | +0.13 | 70 | 70 |
| #5 | ForceReload | -1.06 | 75 | 53 |





