








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 355 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2725 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3882 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3662 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3210 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,237,820 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 628 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noaki | 55% | 308 |
| #2 | Tobi | 53% | 411 |
| #3 | The notorious "sk1ppz" A.W.P | 51% | 323 |
| #4 | Michael | 50% | 149 |
| #5 | OffIzer DoWntOwn | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | The notorious "sk1ppz" A.W.P | 51% | 323 |
| #4 | Michael | 50% | 149 |
| #5 | OffIzer DoWntOwn | 50% | 42 |
| #6 | Taddy ♥ | 48% | 93 |
| #7 | Lucy | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobi | 20 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | The notorious "sk1ppz" A.W.P | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Michael | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Taddy ♥ | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | noaki | 5 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobi | 1503 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #2 | The notorious "sk1ppz" A.W.P | 1380 | 0.21 | 35 min |
| #3 | noaki | 998 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #4 | Michael | 447 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #5 | Taddy ♥ | 290 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobi | +1.59 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | The notorious "sk1ppz" A.W.P | +0.85 | 73 | 77 |
| #3 | Michael | +0.78 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | noaki | +0.29 | 73 | 70 |
| #5 | ForceReload | -0.77 | 78 | 54 |





