








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4382 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3230 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3129 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2812 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $814,562 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobi | 54% | 193 |
| #2 | Michael | 51% | 118 |
| #3 | noaki | 51% | 196 |
| #4 | The notorious "sk1ppz" A.W.P | 50% | 185 |
| #5 | ForceReload | 48% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Michael | 51% | 118 |
| #3 | noaki | 51% | 196 |
| #4 | The notorious "sk1ppz" A.W.P | 50% | 185 |
| #5 | ForceReload | 48% | 93 |
| #6 | Lucy | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The notorious "sk1ppz" A.W.P | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Tobi | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ForceReload | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Michael | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | noaki | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobi | 706 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | noaki | 702 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | The notorious "sk1ppz" A.W.P | 674 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #4 | Michael | 301 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | ForceReload | 110 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobi | +1.62 | 72 | 70 |
| #2 | The notorious "sk1ppz" A.W.P | +1.35 | 72 | 73 |
| #3 | Michael | +0.88 | 80 | 72 |
| #4 | noaki | +0.31 | 70 | 71 |
| #5 | ForceReload | -0.46 | 78 | 53 |





