








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4536 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5069 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3124 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2847 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,437,667 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1599 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ttv/iceyyyyy_za | 78% | 32 |
| #2 | ✪Jean^^ | 77% | 22 |
| #3 | Cloudy Beast | 76% | 25 |
| #4 | Hawkie | 73% | 37 |
| #5 | R.C. | 72% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | slushes | 51% | 45 |
| #8 | retarD | 51% | 55 |
| #9 | ꧁●•*RoXy*•●꧂ | 50% | 26 |
| #10 | Fr0stY | 48% | 87 |
| #11 | Twitch/BugzTagem | 46% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fr0stY | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | retarD | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | slushes | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | ttv/iceyyyyy_za | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ✪Jean^^ | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retarD | 283 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | Hawkie | 219 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | Fr0stY | 187 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ttv/iceyyyyy_za | 141 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | SlickShotzZ | 114 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkie | +5.91 | 90 | 68 |
| #2 | ✪Jean^^ | +4.47 | 67 | 58 |
| #3 | ttv/iceyyyyy_za | +3.51 | 86 | 74 |
| #4 | Cloudy Beast | +2.42 | 76 | 71 |
| #5 | retarD | +1.56 | 49 | 78 |





