








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 912 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9511 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6309 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 8528 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6806 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,521,643 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1453 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hunter | 81% | 89 |
| #2 | 🅳🆉✘ | 78% | 384 |
| #3 | Hawkie | 77% | 457 |
| #4 | DaSh | 76% | 342 |
| #5 | dave | 63% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hunter | 81% | 89 |
| #2 | 🅳🆉✘ | 78% | 384 |
| #3 | Hawkie | 77% | 457 |
| #4 | DaSh | 76% | 342 |
| #5 | dave | 63% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkie | 40 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | 🅳🆉✘ | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | dave | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | DaSh | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | hunter | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkie | 2275 | 0.25 | 59 min |
| #2 | DaSh | 1522 | 0.23 | 40 min |
| #3 | 🅳🆉✘ | 1117 | 0.14 | 35 min |
| #4 | dave | 512 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #5 | hunter | 367 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkie | +4.88 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | ttv/iceyyyyy_za | +3.23 | 87 | 69 |
| #3 | 🅳🆉✘ | +2.05 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | DaSh | +1.70 | 93 | 65 |
| #5 | hunter | +0.87 | 74 | 62 |





